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Marriage 6

Alhamdulillah I found a brilliant QnA from Youth of the Ummah's website and would like to share it with you over the next few posts. These are prevalent questions many sisters are asking, and we should read it in its entirety before making a decision.


Below is the introduction to the reply to the sister's questions and thereafter it delves into the actual questions. May Allah Ta'Ala make us steadfast on His perfect Deen.


Respected Sister in Islam


As Salaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh


Haamidaw wa Musalliyaa


Your query below refers;


I have reviewed your questions which largely appear to be based on some misconceptions in matters of the teachings of the Shariah. I commend you for raising these issues in an effort to understand the truth and recommend the following:


1. That you study the Tafseer, Ma'ariful Quran by Mufti Muhammad Shafi Sb (R.A.) preferably at the hands of an Allah conscious Aalim/Aalima who is one that practices upon the Sunnah. This will Inshallah guide you adequately in a very balanced manner.


2. That you study the following books that may be viewed on the following links. These books are those of Maulana Hakim Muhammad Akhtar Sb (D.B.) who is a great saint of our times. http://www.khanqah.org/books/show/rights-of-women




In terms of your specific queries, a brief response to them is included individually hereunder.


1. Why do I have to obey my husband at all times? ...especially if he doesn't have to listen to me. How is this fair? Why is what he wants the bottom line?


A. Islam is a religion that has guided us in every aspect of our lives. Practicing upon these guidelines will prove beneficial to ourselves, whereas going against these guidelines will be detrimental to us alone. All the teachings of the Shariah are for our benefit and the benefit of the society at large. Allah (SWT) does not benefit by us practicing upon the teachings of the Shariah.


Amongst the guidelines of the Shariah are, that it has given some members of society or family status above others and that they be respected and obeyed. However, this status that Islam has afforded certain people, is only to assist people in the smooth running of their affairs in this World. It, in no way ensures a lofty status for them in terms of the hereafter, if they are disobedient to the laws of Allah (SWT). Similarly, together with the status, that Islam gives certain individuals, Islam has placed certain responsibilities and duties upon them that they are duty bound to fulfill. Each person is entitled to certain rights and has to fulfill certain obligations and responsibilities.


With respect to a marriage and family life, Islam has taught us that for all practical purposes, the husband is the head of the family. He is responsible to steer and guide the family towards the fulfillment of the teachings of the Shariah without breaking it apart and to maintain the family in as far as their Worldly requirements are concerned. This is a huge responsibility that husbands have upon their shoulders. Together with this responsibility, the rest of the family is required to assist the husband/father in fulfilling his responsibility by co-operating with him and obeying his commands. This does not mean that the husband should behave like a dictator. Rather, the husband is required to go about his duties in an affectionate manner and through consultation with the rest of the family. However, once the husband has made a decision which should not be against the Shariah and is not unreasonable as well, then the rest of the family should fulfill this request of the husband/father which would Inshallah be for the greater benefit of the family. Notwithstanding this, if the family has a different opinion in certain matters, these should be raised with love and respect and the husband, too is required to consider these respects.


Of course, when it comes to matters that are against the teachings of the Shariah then we are not obliged to follow any such request.


2. How come only the husband can give divorce? What if the woman wants a divorce? She can't get one just because her husband doesn't want to divorce her?


A. Allah (SWT) in his infinite wisdom gave the right to effect a divorce to man alone, in whom the ingredients of thought, end-perception and forbearance are more pronounced than in a woman. This free choice was not given in the hands of women so that the disposition of being overtaken by transitory emotions, which is more pronounced in women as compared to men, may not become the cause of divorce.


But women too, are not totally deprived of this right lest they are left with no alternaive but to keep groaning under the cruelty of her husband. She was given the right to seek a divorce or a khula from her husband. She could offer to pay a sum of money to the husband in lieu of her release from the marriage. (adapted from Ma'ariful Quraan)


Of course khula also has specific injunctions and rulings which are to be applied. Further, when entering into the marriage or at anytime thereafter, a woman may seek that the husband delegates his right to divorce to the woman herself (which is not preferred) or to a third party which is preferably a body of Ulama or other competent persons. She is also given the right to take her case to a court presided by a judge who qualifies as such under the rules of Sharia, present her complaint, prove her case and get the marriage annulled or secure a divorce. In case a Muslim judicial system does not exist in a certain country, the woman may take her case to a tribunal of learned people to could exercise the same procedures adopted by an Islamic court and annul the marriage.


3. As far as staying in her house is concerned. Muslim scholars say that women should sit in their homes as much as possible and only come out if there's a necessity. How is this fair?

A woman should stay in her home the whole day; cook and clean take care of the children obey her husband and stay in her home. This is their definition of a good muslim woman. What's the difference between her and a slave then? Can't the woman ever go out of her house? Doesn't she deserve to get some fresh air?

I understand a mahram needs to be with her, fine a mahram is with her but even with a mahram she should only go out if she has necessity? How is this fair?


A. Allah, out of His infinite wisdom, has taught, that woman should remain within their home as far as possible and if they require to go out then they could do so provided they adopt the Hijaab and Pardah. This guideline does not mean that women are not alowed to leave their homes at all. Rather, all it means, is that a woman should remain with the confines of her home and should not leave the home unnecessarilly. If she is to leave the home due to some necessity, she is required to don the hijaab for her own benefit and that of the community at large.


Again, if one were to analyse this guideline of the Shariah, the beneficiaries of acting upon it, are we ourselves. Allah (SWT) does not benefit from such commands in anyway. The harms that have engulfed society, in the form of rapes, promiscuity, pornography, adultery, fornication and the like, are not hidden from us. As such, we should consider the kindness of the Shariah upon us by guiding us in this manner rather, than cosidering these commands to be hindrances and obstacles in our path to progress. An Urdu poet has mentioned, " Take us into your prison so that we may be free". In other words, true imancipation, freedom, success and progress lies in chaining oneself up in the shackles of the Shariah. I also recommend that you study in particular the commentary of Surah Nur and Surah Ahzaab, from Ma'ariful Quran.


in shaa Allah we will continue soon.

Hadeeth Newsflash

Reported by Abu Hurairah (RA): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Allah, the Exalted, says: `I will contend on the Day of Resurrection against three (types of) people: One who makes a covenant in My Name and then breaks it; one who sells a free man as a slave and devours his price; and one who hires a workman and having taken full work from him, does not pay him his wages.''' [Al-Bukhari]

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