Home THOUGHT PROVOKING... AnonyMouse Marriage 5
Marriage 5

We sometimes need to sit back and think about the blessings that we have been given by Allah Ta'Ala. If we were to count them, then I am sure you and I will agree that no amount of time would be enough to fully sum it up.


One such blessing is the blessing of communication, from the way we speak, write, Blackberry, Whatsapp and even this email you are reading currently. However, as with any blessing, we have the ability to use it correctly or incorrectly. Take for instance the woman who keeps chatting on her Blackberry and every time her husband asks her something she says Huh? To the man who holds his iPhone 24/7 but only holds his wife for a few minutes...but that is a topic for another day in shaa Allah.


The topic I want to focus on today, is that of verifying the information we get. There is a lengthy incident in the Quran where Allah Ta'ala informs Nabi Sallalahualayiwasalam on the issue of verifying information, lest you be unjust.


How many times marriages breakdown due to some form of miscommunication? In today's times, hassad(jealousy) is one of the leading causes of this. We just can't keep our mouth's shut. For instance, a man will stop on the side of the road and possibly help a female who has nobody fix a puncture whilst maintaining the strictest forms of purdah. If we see this, forget till it becomes Callmore time(after 7), we would have broadcast the message on Whatsapp, BBM, iMessage, listed it on the JSE and paid for a billboard advert outside King Shaka saying:"So and so sleeps with someone on the side of the road". We just do not keep our mouth shut, we want to be in the limelight and do not care in the least who we harm in the interim.


That is why, as a husband and wife, we need to be rational and think about whatever we hear. Sometimes, we also may just have suspicions. Remember Shaitaan HATES the fact that you are married and not committing adultery - so he will come tune you something that will make your sari spin! Recognize this as Shaitaan, tell him that to hell with you, and read plentiful of Zikr.


It reminds me of a story that many of us may have heard with regards to the wife, her husband and little son(obviously I am adapting).


One morning, a husband comes to his wife and tells her: 'Honey, I am going to be a bit late tonight, and not sure what time I will be home as we have some extra clients at work, so get supper ready in the meantime'. Good old wife starts working the rotis just after Asr and starts getting a little anxious that the Tarkari(gravy) will dry out by Maghrib. So she asks her son to go and call Abbi and ask him what time he anticipates he will be home.


This little lighty goes and calls his father in the adjacent room but comes back and says:'Mummy I don't know why, but every time I call one lady answers daddy's cellphone'.


Now this is enough to set the wife revving on all 4 cylinders, you can literally see the steam rising from her head. Screaming and shouting that she knew it, she throws the pot of food off the stove and tells her son go and pack his bags. She immediately gets on the phone with her daddy who is all too ready to come and fetch her(very very bad thing nowadays, we don't want to resolve our conflicts anymore).


When husband gets home, he is babalast, absolutely tired. As he comes into his driveway he is greeted by he sight of his wife and child standing outside, with their bags packed. Absolutely confused he asks:'Honey, what is wrong? What happened?'


Now she does not bother to communicate anything but simply says OH YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, you know my father is already on the way you lousy rubbish. This man is absolutely perplexed and doesn't know what is going on(ladies ALWAYS communicate with your husband, nobody can read minds). He asks again and again until she finally tells him that he can go to the other woman. Now, more confused than a boere in a spice shop, he doesn't know what to say. So he asks her what is she talking about, and she point blankly says talk to your son, he had to find out!


So he goes to his son and asks him gently what does she mean? So the son says well daddy every time I called your cellphone, a lady answered. The man, now even more shocked, looks at his phone and checks if he dialed the right number. He asks him if he is sure and the son replies he is! So the dad asks him, but who was she? What did she say her name was?


The son says, she never said what her name was, and only said the same thing,"The subscriber you have dialed is unavailable at present, please try again later".


This my friends, is the harms of miscommunication. Take the courage, take the step and never let Shaitaan get between you. Should there be a genuine problem, seek advice form a pious elder, or go for some sort of counselling.





Hadeeth Newsflash

Reported by Jundub bin `Abdullah (RA): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, "Once someone said: `By Allah! Allah will not forgive such and such (a person).' Thereupon Allah, the Exalted and the Glorious, said: `Who is he who takes an oath in My Name that I will not grant pardon to so-and-so? I have granted pardon to so-and-so and rendered your good deeds fruitless.''' [Muslim]

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