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Marriage 2

Alhamdulillah we are onto another 'episode' of Marriage. Just a quick point, if we look, the soccer season is apparently back in full swing. Whilst a break now and then is good, we should remember that this is not our only purpose in this world. It is rather to please Allah. So, be careful of how we spend our time, especially not to miss our Salaah. Remember, our brothers and sisters are suffering in Egypt, Syria and countless other places. If we can watch a match of 90 minutes, then we can surely take out 5 minutes of our day to read 2 Rakaah Salaah, and lift our hands for them.

 

Moving on to Marriage 2(adapted from Mufti Zubair Bayat's article):

 

Each partner must try to fulfil rights of the other and forgo own rights; not to fight for and demand rights - ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Sounds familiar? Let us jump to the day of Qiyaamah. Allah Ta'Ala will hold us accountable for the rights that we withhold from others. So, think about it: the next time you say you are gonna fix that spouse of your's up, by not giving them their rights- then you WILL be held accountable, unless they make maaf. The thing is, we should not address any situation by DEMANDING our rights. Rather, we should gently approach the situation. If we want something from say our bosses, do we walk in and demand a raise? No, we ask sweetly- when the time is right.

 

Accept that no person is perfect; all have some faults; focus on own faults; not next person’s faults; do not look for faults or highlight next person’s faults all the time. There is a story about how an artist put his painting out on the street, for people to view. A few days later he returned to find many pages about how the colour is wrong, how the depth is wrong etc. So the next time he put the same painting out, but with a note saying: please correct it yourself. To his surprise, on his return,nobody had said or done anything. This is our nature, we are quick to criticise and pick on each other. Oh, she is like that, he is like this- but in reality how perfect are we? If we sit down and really think about it,by the grace of Allah they are actually doing way more than we think they are. If we as spouses, corrected ourselves, and not each other- our marriages will flourish in shaa Allah.

 

Never try to be a perfectionist in marriage issues - She will never cook like a chef from Jannah, he will never have that chiseled features you always wanted. No marriage is absolutely perfect. There are always going to be ups and downs. LIFE IS NOT A TELEVISION SERIES. THOSE BUJIAS FROM TV WHO WE IDOLIZE ARE ALL ENDING UP DEAD, JUNKIES, IN REHAB, DIVORCED, DO WE WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT? Stop modelling your life on Blair Warldorf and start modelling it according to the Quran and Sunnah.The next time you are trying to be perfect, realise that you are still in the dunya, and not in Jannah. This world, is strange, one day it will be great, one day it will be bad. Take a look at what beautiful weather we had last week, and today it was FREEZING. This is a reminder from Allah, that only in Jannah will we find true and eternal happiness.

 

Make a firm commitment to make marriage work; affirm this by word and deed; do not say or do things that may damage the marriage - This attitude that my daddy is somebody, my looks are crafted from porcelain, my abs are stronger than a piece of steel, I got so much of crown that the stekkies they be running at me. Bhai, take your swag and throw it out the window. The problem with us is that we sometimes doom ourselves. No, our marriage is over, its completely ruined- why? Coz he leaves his socks on the floor. If you have this attitude, then you yourself are predicting the future and negating Allah Ta'ala. Rather, approach it with a pinch of salt. If there is something that is wrong, address it correctly. Also, never ever try and hurt the marriage by just saying things. Sometimes we are in such a mood, that we just say things to win the argument, in the end- we lose our marriage.

 

in shaa Allah we will continue soon.

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Hijri Date

Sunday, 20 August 2017  
27. Dhul Qadah 1438

Hadeeth Newsflash

Reported by K`ab bin Malik (RA): Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, "Two hungry wolves sent in the midst of a flock of sheep are no more destructive to them than a man's greed for wealth and fame is to his Deen.'' [At-Tirmidhi]

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