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Secrets of a Happy Marriage/ Parent child

(adapted from Inspirations)

Nowadays each of us are engrossed in our own worlds. Whenever our spouses/parents come near us, we are often busy typing away on the bb, or involved in watching some vampire sparkle on television, or too engrossed in soccer/Fifa. However the following secrets could possibly assist us and we should try and ado

pt them if we haven't already...

1. Cultivate common interests. This is a bit awkward with our parents, but is vital for those who are married. Its common that after the 'honeymoon' phase is over, that you realise that you and your partner have little in common with regards to interests. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate your own interests, this will make you more interesting to your partner.

2. Walk TOGETHER. Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk together, side by side. This is how we should challenge the problems and our everday lives, side by side. They know its more important to be with their partner to see the sights(halaal) along the way. If we are with parents then walk with them, help them if they are old, remember when you couldn't walk they helped you each time you fell down.

3.Make trust and forgiveness your default mode. The reality is, that we are not marrying angels, and we are not angels either. We are all prone to mistakes. If and when there is a disagreement or argument, and if it cannot be resolved, default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging. Start up a game, whoever forgives second, MUST take the other other for a meal. Or create a secret smile or a wink that each other could give to the other and it would melt the other's heart...its possible, and we all know it. Or in the heat of the argument just hug the person and say you love them. Never, ever go to sleep or to work angry...you may never return.

4. Focus on their rights and not the wrongs. NEWSFLASH-you aren't perfect, so stop expecting others to be. If you look for what your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for something that your partner does right, you can always find something. IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO LOOK FOR. Look for the positive...

5. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. This is important even for our parents. Our skin has a memory of a 'good touch'(loved), 'bad touch' (abuse) and 'no touch'(neglected). Hug your spouse or your parents and say Assalaamu Alaiykum. Brothers put some itthar on just before you enter that door. Sisters, get up off the couch and stand by the door waiting when you hear the car door close(don't stay in your pjs whole day,have a bath at least!), don't act reclusive when you see the other and say: 'hey sup, wats for supper'...MAKE THE EFFORT TO CREATE THE LOVE....and you will reap the rewards in shaa Allah

In shaa Allah this will be continued in the next email....

Hadeeth Newsflash

Reported by Abu Hurairah (RA): The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Allah, the Exalted, says: `I will contend on the Day of Resurrection against three (types of) people: One who makes a covenant in My Name and then breaks it; one who sells a free man as a slave and devours his price; and one who hires a workman and having taken full work from him, does not pay him his wages.''' [Al-Bukhari]

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